Epic Phail

A few weeks ago I went with a friend up to the cabin at Lake Geneva to go fishing for the weekend. We hit up a local bait shop for three day licenses and a boat rental. I was filling out my information and the lady at the counter (an older lady who seems to have a lot of trouble tracking mentally) just started going off on me.


Cashier: You get an F.

Me: Excuse me?

Cashier: You make your sevens wrong.

Me: I do?

Cashier: Yes. Sevens don't have a line through them. That's a German seven. You get an F.

Me: I'm German!

Cashier: Well that's not how we make sevens. You fail. Next!

FML

An excerpt from this morning's Champaign County Courthouse radio traffic:

Bailiff: "Can somebody locate Mr. Peek and let him know he left his hat at the metal detector?"

Bailiff: "Can somebody locate Mr. Peek and let him know he left his hat in Courtroom E?"

Email from court administration: "There's a hat in my office. Is it yours?"

Bailiff: "Can somebody locate Mr. Peek and let him know he left his hat in Courtroom C?"

txt from public defender: "dude u left ur hat in my office"

Phone call from Bunny's: "Mr. Peek, we found your hat sitting on the table after you left."


Now I have to head back out the door for afternoon court, and I can't find my damn hat. I know it's here somewhere.

The Start of Something ...

The streetlight on the corner
peeks through the windows
while the glistening rain
turns the world to stars.

Inside, with you in my arms,
holding back the night,
I am transfixed
by soft lips and a beating heart.



... to be continued.

Me

Lying or Healing

you pulled at the strings
never hearing the song

note by note,
our private symphony

now each beat
fades away on the wind
with the yellowed leaves

walking through this new crisp night
reflecting on the frost

your icicles I mistook for stars


Me

Conversations With My Son, #42

The Bug and I have long played a game where I point out a pretty lady on TV, in a movie, walking down the street, wherever. I point her out and the Bug looks at me and says, "Dad! You're already married!"

Yesterday I was driving him to his hockey practice and a lovely lady walked in front of us crossing Kirby at Fourth over by the Assembly Hall. As is my habit, I pointed her out.

Me: Hey Bug, what do you think of her? She's kind of cute.

The Bug: Dad! You're already .... Dangit! I can't say it anymore!

Conversations With My Son, #42

Me: Bug, let's watch this movie. It has lots of pretty girls in it.

The Bug: Dad! You're already married.

Me: Well buddy, not for much longer. You know that.

The Bug: Yeah, I know.

Me: I know it makes you sad. Is there anything you want to talk about?

The Bug: You know, you're going to have to change your phone. You're going to have to call Mommy evil-ex-wife.

Wednesday Morning

I awoke this morning
with a poem
on my lips

The day's first kiss to share.

I had a dream about you
last night.
Not good.
Not bad.

Sitting with me,
sipping coffee,
or latte,
or tea.

Silently.
Awkwardly.

That doesn't matter.
But you were there.

Boltini's

I remember
brushing strands
of scented hair
from your face:

Two people
slipping across leather seats.

A kiss,
like the petals
of some wild orchid
across my lips

with an aftertaste
of white russians
and scotch.

Psalm

I prayed to the Lord for Guidance,
He asked me to follow Him.

I prayed to the Lord for Shelter,
He showed me the way to His house.

I prayed to the Lord for Sustenance,
He put me to work for Him.

I prayed to the Lord for Forgiveness,
He told me of my baptism.

I prayed to the Lord for my Soul,
He gave me Holy Communion.

I prayed to the Lord for Justice,
He moved my hand to write
and my lips to speak.

I prayed to the Lord for Peace,
He bade me play a song for Him.

I prayed to the Lord for Wisdom,
He sat my children upon my lap.

I prayed to the Lord for Strength,
My dearest friends held out their hands
and pulled me up from the ground.

I prayed to the Lord for Patience,
He sat down with me and held me close.

I prayed to the Lord for Hope,
We bowed our heads together.

I prayed to the Lord for Love,
He laid three nails in my hand
and told me I still had one great lesson yet to learn.

Me

hmmmm,

Child of the Night,
Rapt in dusky desire.
My infatuation
Becomes your confession
Your plight,
Never less dire.

Child of the Night,
What serpent speaks to you?
What dreaded confusion
Will undo your lessons
What might
An earn’st heart do?

Child of the Night,
When sleep closes your eyes,
Am I your obsession,
Your body’s possession,
Delight,
Lust’s enterprise?

Child of the Night,
When dawn shines on your face,
Is there jubilation
Or only frustration
A blight,
dreams can’t erase?

Child of the Night,
Feel the warmth of the sun.
Worship inspiration
Belief, praise, elation
First light’s
Song to be sung.

Me